Brookfield Zoo Christmas Lights

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Brookfield Zoo Christmas Lights

Journal Entry… one

Tonight I thought I would share with you, an entry that I wrote in my journal…

“I trust the wrong people, and they hurt me. Far worse than I would ever imagine doing to them. They make me lose hope in everyone around me. They make me question why I even try. Why do I go out into the world when it feels like everyone wants to break my heart. 

I let people into my life too quickly and too freely. I allow them close enough to hurt me. The wrong people. People I thought were my friends, but they were snakes.

I need to protect my hear. I let untrustworthy people in, and keep those who only want to make my heart full, away at a comfortable distance. 

My heart cannot be a revolving door. I am done allowing people to come and go as they please. From now on, they will be charged admission. I need to put up a wall to keep the “riff raff” out. I need to be my own hearts security.”

 

 

Journal Entry… one

Friendzone

The” Friendzone. It’s bullshit. It’s an excuse men have come up with to boost their egos when a girl doesn’t want to fuck him. “oh she friendzoned me.” It instantly gets a reaction out of his buddies, “oh man that sucks” “I’ve been there” “she’s crazy”. It’s his way of placing the blame on the girl rather than himself. I am so sick of it. It’s simple, you can’t see yourself with that person in a romantic or sexual situation. We all have an instant reaction to everyone we meet. For most people the first impression they have of someone, even without speaking, is made up from the first 30 – 60 seconds of actually meeting them or having any interaction with them at all. Even if it’s just eye contact.

The worst part of it all is that guys make it all about them! Uhm, hello, girls get friendzoned too. At least when a girl friendzones she gives some kind of explanation, even if its a lie. “oh I see you as a brother” “you’re my best friend” “I wouldn’t want to risk our friendship”
But when a guy friendzones a girl, its the cliche it’s not you it’s me. Why don’t you just push me into traffic, that would be less painful. If you don’t want a relationship with me at least don’t be a pussy about it.

Don’t even get me started on the joint friendzone. That weird situation that you both put yourselves in, and you’re not really sure how you got there, but what would happen if either one of you, or both of you, tried to leave said friendzone? Would it make things weird? Could you ever be friends again? Do we talk about other relationships? Can I flirt with someone in front of him? Oh shit, is he flirting with me? Do I want him to be flirting with me? I don’t want him to flirt with other girls… Maybe we just shouldn’t hang out, but I don’t want him out of my life. Other people say we would make a good couple, but I won’t make the first move in case he doesn’t feel the same way. BUT then what if he likes me, and is worried that I don’t like him? Shit. Shit. Shit. 

It’s all fucking bullshit. Nobody can win this war unless you both take that leap of faith into the complete darkness not knowing what is going to happen or if your friendship is over because of this. But either way, you have to risk either not knowing, knowing and it being terrible, or knowing it being the relationship you’ve been searching for that has been right in front of your face all that time. 

The friendzone is some made up place, almost like the worldly version of purgatory… relationship purgatory of course. You don’t really know where you stand with that person after that. It’s just the nice way of saying you don’t want a relationship without them leaving your life all together.

Sack up dude, and jump right out of that friendzone.

Friendzone

Things I like pt. 2

1. Stormy Nights
2. Cupcakes
3. Freshly washed bedding
4. Jelly Beans
5. Writing
6. Coffee
7. New Shoes
8. Pringles
9. Puppies
10. Big Sweatshirts
11. Friends… human form or the tv series
12. Movies
13. Clean Socks
14. The Beach
15. Hot Chocolate
16. Mint Gum
17. Candles
18. Earrings
19. Coke-a-Cola
20. WordPress.com 😉
21. Family
22. Music
23. Sunshine
24. Curling Irons
25. Alcohol
26. Being 21
27. Baking
28. Bacon
29. Muffins
30. Dresses
31. Pictures
32. Dancing
33. Babies
34. Driving with the windows down
35. Bonfires
36. Road Trips
37. Sleepovers with my best friends
38. Sleeping In
39. Chicago Blackhawks
40. Internet

Things I like pt. 2