I find myself typing “how to…” into Google far too many times a day. Its usually for stupid things like
how to get nail polish out of your rug…
But due to the somewhat surplus of attractive men at work, because for the past two years the boys I worked with were either fetuses, or gay, I have too many opportunities to get hurt.
The reason I decided on writing this is because I have officially sunk to a level I was almost too embarrassed to admit.
I “googled” how to tell if a guy likes you.
*cries from the shame*
I can’t help it though! Men are so goddamn confusing. One minute, its obvious you’re diggin’ me, the next I don’t know if I am just annoying the fuck out of you.
The dilemma I am faced with is that, I have very low self esteem. I tend to think to myself “ha! he isn’t flirting with YOU!!”
So apparently I am now immune to flirtatiousness from the opposite sex.
I then come home from a very flirtatious day at work and sit on the computer for hours reading website after website hoping that the things they say to look for, he does.
To my surprise, the majority of the things they say to look for have definitely been done…
like the teasing, and play fighting, the body language, etc.
Then I am listening to music, thinking about kissing and ripping the clothes off of this… person.
(no names because I would be horrified if he ever read this!)
Most girls don’t seem to have so much trouble with guys, its like they have mutual feelings for someone, and BOOM their fucking dating within weeks.
LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?!
Oh, maybe its because I don’t wear short shorts, cake on my make-up, and have my tits popping out.
I find myself getting uh, hot, for this guy whenever I think of him sexually.
The sad thing is that I’m totally basing the possibility of him actually finding me attractive and wanting me back off of something I read on the internet. I am so pathetic.
I even went there last night, with a purpose of course to return a pair of pants, not to be a creepy stalker; wearing a cute outfit, my hair and make up done, earrings, the whole shabang. AND HE WASN’T THERE!! I was so pissed. Although its kinda fun going in wearing jeans and regular clothes, because I have to work in yoga pants and t-shirts…
people say they almost don’t recognize me! I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or not.
I also have another problem, which I don’t know is worth obsessing about because its kind of a good thing;
there are two guys.
One of them is so fucking obviously into me, which is awesome, but I haven’t decided if I like him back that way yet.
Then there is the other guy, he has definitely been flirty, but not as direct as the other.
AND OF FUCKING COURSE I AM CRAZY ATTRACTED TO THE ONE WHO ISN’T AS UP FRONT!
I literally do this all the fucking time.
Why do I always do this to myself.
For all I know, he has a girlfriend, and I am completely wasting my feelings on him.
Did I mention that he has a great ass. He totally bent over in front of me on purpose today too. GAH!!
I need to get off of here before I sound like a complete bafoon.
*everyone reading this*
too late weirdo!!