I made this poster earlier this summer. So I took a picture and edited it tonight while laying in bed 🙂
In an attempt to make my life more organized, I bought a planner. So far it has been helping, I think. I keep my work schedule, shopping list, or things I think of right before I fall asleep. Take for example, things to blog about. I have to say it makes me feel grown up for some reason, even though I got it from Victoria’s Secret..
I like Starbucks.
Its all that I have available to me at the moment.
Working in the mall everyday doesn’t exactly broaden your horizons. There are very few places to choose from. Like Starbucks for example, I get a grande mocha iced coffee with milk. You could go there, and ask Susan, what my morning order is! Although, sometimes I changed it up a little and get a grande mocha frappachino with a single shot of espresso and no whipped cream.
I haven’t written anything lately, and for the few followers I have, that may or may not care, here is an update on what has been going on in my life as of late.
Things over all have been good. I feel like one of those people that are always saying “I’m fine.” Only this time I am not just saying it because I am being honest. My life has been taking a turn for the better for once. I should be happy, and for the most part I am. I have been seeing my friends more often, working more hours, which means more money. I interviewed for a new job today, and it seems promising! I will hopefully begin my search for a car to lease. So I should be happy right? Unfortunately, I have this horrible feeling that something really bad is going to happen. I wish it would go away. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that if I get this new job, I am going to be the new girl. I’ve been at American Eagle for so long that I don’t know what that feels like anymore. I suppose you could say I don’t want to lose my seniority. I am so unhappy at AE nowadays. I find myself wishing I was anywhere else. I like the majority of the people I work with, but then there are select few that I just cannot stand to be around. Take for instance, my new store manager, or this other girl that I work with. For the sake of being cautious, I won’t use names, because, well I don’t know who could be reading this, or if someone reading this were to tell said person, I could lose my job before I could quit. That would not be good.
I am also afraid that I won’t be able to lease a car on my own. My parents don’t have the best credit, and I only have one credit card to build off of, so it also is not the very best. Although, I don’t really know what it is.. I am scared that if I get this new job that I wont have any way to get there, because it is way too far to walk. I wish there was someone who could loan me a car until I am able to afford one. I also wish that my dad would finally get his “company” car so my family could at least have two vehicles; even if one isn’t mine. What if I can’t get the car? What if it takes me too long to save for a car that is cheap, but reliable? My parents wan’t me to have a “plan”. I have absolutely no plan. nada. zilch. zero.
My friend Katie left for ISU today. I am so proud of her! When we first met each other, we did’t like one another at all. It just goes to show that you should never judge a person until you get to know them. Katie, Maddi, and I have become much closer friends over the past few months. I get to see them more often which is really helping with my depression. Although on nights like these, especially the night after I forgot the day she was leaving, and I missed saying goodbye, really sucks. I am going to miss her. Even though I know Maddi and I will visit her whenever we can, I know it won’t be as often as we want, Especially as often as it has been when she only lived 15 minutes away.
Two weekends I go I believe, we had a family party up at my mom’s cousins, or my second cousin’s, I don’t really know how I am related to all of them, but they are family nonetheless. We always eat like kings there. His house is beautiful. There is so much to look at, but not much to do, because its practically in the middle of nowhere. I don’t have any cousins my age, so I am either with my younger cousins, or with my older cousins. My cousin Sara wasn’t there. I miss her a lot. She lives in Marion with my aunt Peggy and family. They are family I actually like, and feel comfortable around. I love going down to my Aunt Peggy’s. It’s only 5 hours south, but it is a completely different world! I hope we go down again soon..
I just have to keep reminding myself that change is supposed to be good. It happens every day whether we like it or not. But it is not as enjoyable when so many things change all at once. It is really scary. I wish that things were going to be easier from here on out, but even thought things are getting better, it doesn’t mean they are going to be easier.
“I can do this.”